Jul 11, 2022

The Dreaded Sock Monster

Updated: Apr 3

Do you have a sock orphanage? A collection of single socks with missing mates?

I did. Where do they go? It makes me wonder if there is a sock gremlin, an evil creature lurking in the house waiting to steal just one sock from a set, just to make me crazy.

So I end up with tons of matchless socks, and don’t know what to do with them.

I tried to make sock matching a game for my kids, but they soon caught on to how onerous this task is. My daughter finally gave up and started wearing mis-matched socks to school.

And you feel like you wasted so much money. AARGH!

But wait! We have a Clutter Monster Battle Plan for the Sock Monster!

1. Get a SockDock. The most amazing invention known to wo/mankind, and so simple I don’t know why nobody thought of it before. This gadget allows you to keep socks together, nine pairs at a time, and you can just throw the whole thing into the washer/dryer, and when its done all you socks are still together with their mates. You can even hang it in the closet and avoid sock drawers all together!

2. Toss ‘em! Start fresh. Take a deep breath and throw out (or recycle) all of your socks and buy new ones. Assuming you do laundry once a week, you only really need 14 pairs (okay, maybe a few more for specialty activities like working out or special occasions).

3. Color code to each family member. Then you know whose pair is whose. Especially important in households where the kids wear the same size as the parents.

4. Use lingerie bags. Each family member has their own mesh lingerie bag, where they put their dirty socks. When full, you just toss them into the washer/dryer, and then you have clean and matched socks.

5. Recycle the orphan socks. There’s a company called Smartwool that will take your old, mismatched socks and donates them to Material Return, a North Carolina company that deconstructs socks and turn them into new goods, like dog beds.